Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash
with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably
the greatest political sage this
country has ever known.
Enjoy the following:
1.
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2
theories to arguing with a woman. . . neither works.
4. Never miss a good
chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a
hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of
men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the
electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes
from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
10.
If you're riding' ahead of the herd,
take a look back
every now and then
to make sure it's still
there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a
whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull,
a mountain
lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter
came along and shot him. The moral:
When
you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER. . .
First ~
Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~
The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~
Some people try to
turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want
people to know
"why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some
of
the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~
When you are
dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
Fifth ~
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~
I don't know how I got
over the hill
without getting to the top.
Seventh ~
One of the many things no one tells
you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from
being young.
Eighth ~
One must wait until evening
to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~
Being young is beautiful,
but being
old is comfortable.
Tenth ~
Long ago when men
cursed and beat
the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.
And finally ~
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you won't have anything to laugh at
when you are
old.