March 24, 2002

Tonight I held the Albuterol tube in Poppy's mouth and he thought it was a microphone. So, he started singing Louie Prima's "Oh Marie". Always the entertainer...

March 31, 2002

Happy Easter, my friends!

We are making arrangements to bring Poppy home so he can rest peacefully in the world that he lived and created. There is nothing more the doctors can do for him. We’ve been spending days and nights with him, holding on to him and praying for him. His hour is near. I hold comfort in the fact that people whose lives he has touched surround him. He has lived a full life. Eight-four years. He has lived to see his family grow and expand with his beliefs and character. He has lived an honest and pure life. He has made a great difference in this world and his impact will always be felt. He will always be missed, but he will never die. His life continues through us and the lives we touch.

April 1, 2002

Last night will go down is history as one of the happiest moments of my life. Poppy and I said the rosary together in honor of Easter Sunday. He remembered all the prayers and recited some new ones for me. For those moments, he was back in the days of his youth when he was an alter boy. He told me stories that I had never heard before. Stories of a young, innocent man trying to make a better place of the world he lived in.

Today is April 1st. Six years ago today I moved in with Nanny and Poppy. I wouldn't give up one day for anything in the world. These have been the happiest and most love filled years of my life. Each day I get to spend with them is a gift I am truly thankful for.

April 20, 2003

Last Easter Sunday, Poppy lay in his hospital bed. I sat beside him and we said the rosary together.

This Easter Sunday, Poppy lay in his grave. Again, I sat beside him and we said the rosary together.

He is with me as much in his death as he was in his life.

Life everlasting.

June 14, 2003

I went to Poppy's grave today. It will be one year tomorrow that he passed away. Two stories:

At the funeral I was the last person with Poppy's casket. After they lowered him, I tossed a single rose on top of the casket. This year, I wanted to leave the same gesture. I went to the florist this morning. They were closed, but there was a guy in the parking lot who worked there. I told him I needed one rose and he gave me six. I asked him how much I owed him and he said, "No Charge." You think Poppy is with me? I left one rose on top of his headstone and laid the other five before him.

Second story. I'm a barefoot kind of gal. I never wear shoes or socks. It drove Poppy crazy. He always yelled at me, "What are you doing in your bare feet?" "Here comes Lisa now! ...in her bare feet." "Put something on your feet!" He went so far as to give me a bunch of his socks and once sent Nanny to buy me a pair of slippers. Never before has this happened... I have a huge splinter in my foot now. Do you think Poppy is with me? If he could come back as anything, he would come back as a splinter to teach me a lesson.

Miss you Poppy.

November 23, 2003 Allow me to get a little sentimental here.  I used to live for the holidays.  I'd start preparing weeks, even months in advance.  Throughout my entire life, Nanny & Poppy were at every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and Birthday.  Since the loss of Poppy, my heart just isn't in it anymore.  It doesn't seem right.  I miss him.  I miss him every day and the holidays just amplify the loss. After I recently learned of yet another completely selfless humanitarian act Poppy performed years ago, I started thinking.  After losing someone close to them, some people wish they could have one last conversation with that person. That is one thing I don't need to do.  I lived with Poppy for the last seven years of his life.  I saw him every day and every day he made me laugh and feel absolutely loved.  He was my hero and I respected everything he stood for.  He made me want to be a better person... more like him. When he was sick and dying.  I spent repeated nights by his side in the hospital and at home.  I was there when he woke up scared and not knowing where he was.  I held his hand and did everything I could to make him feel safe.  I fed him, I cleaned him, I prayed with him and I couldn't have loved him more. One time towards the end, he sat in his wheelchair in his bare feet.  I bent down and gently put warm socks on him.  I looked up at his face and he looked at me like I was an angel.  He might not have known who I was at that stage, but he knew whoever I was, I loved him and cared about him.  I learned that from him. Every day I remember Poppy is absent from my life.  But I know that although he can't be with me in body, he follows me every day in spirit.  There is nothing left unsaid or undone between Poppy and I.  Our relationship was built on pure love and admiration.  I just miss him with all of my heart.  Some things will never be the same without him.  Right now, the holidays aren't complete without Poppy at the head of the table.